If you didn't know, I’m a new Dad. And it does take up a lot of my time. In fact, it takes up around 138% of my time, which is statistically impossible but it does.However, one of the benefits of a new born baby is that they do tend to sleep a lot. Which means I get to do a few things for myself. For example, I get to do a spot of copywriting, which helps me improve my skills. I also get to turn off the brain and watch a spot of television whilst the wee one dreams of milk and boobs (which have milk in them).
Of course, I've had to scale down the 200 or so shows I originally used to watch down to a select few. But all are quality. Good writing, interesting characters and most importantly, they are all on at a reasonable hour.
I’m sure babies actually feed on your sleep like cute, gurgling insomnia Vampires
The Big Bang Theory Funny, especially for geeks like me. Lots of pop culture references that make me very happy. Although it’s a little mainstream and obvious in places, I like the characters. The guest stars are always excellent too. Looking forward to the sixth season coming up this month. American Horror Story: Asylum I never gave this show much thought but I caught the first episode of the new season and it was really good; dark, gothic and it had some quality actors in it. James Cromwell, Jessica Lange…
…and this guy. But don’t worry, he loses an arm so it’s win/win all round.
Chances are you’re already watching this yourself. It’s simply a great gangster drama. Violent in places, funny at times and always engaging. Plus there’s a ludicrous amount of boob in almost every episode. If you are not watching it, then go do so. Now.
This kind of crept up on me really. It’s about a female police officer who arrives from the future via technobabble and ends up in Canada today to fight other future people (who are bad. Well, as bad as you can be in Canada). I find it an easy and enjoyable watch and love the fact the lead seems to have this amazing Swiss army jacket. No really. Her uniform can do anything; hack computers, make her invisible, stop bullets.
You read my mind. I’m sure it will crop up in a future episode.
This show annoys me. It annoys me because it’s so good I'm always wondering why the UK doesn't know more about it. It’s amazingly funny. It’s incredibly insightful and often moving. The entire cast are on top form. I would be remiss to mention, however, the comedy gold that is Yvette Nicole Brown. She actually gets back to my tweets and although this is quite clearly a blatant ploy for her to follow me (@TheBozDog) on twitter, I stand by the fact that this show is one of the best out there.
See that smile. That’s what keeps my faith in American television alive.
When we think of the future, we like to think that eventually everything will end up like Star Trek. The entire planet living in universal harmony. War, disease, hunger – all a thing of the past. A Utopian future is all well and good, but it’s just as likely that things could go the other way too. Who says advancements in technology and science is going to make everything nice and pretty. If history has taught us anything it's that mankind is pretty much kind of a bell-end. The way things are going, it's more likely the planet is going to end up sharing a prison cell with a hairy Hispanic man who has no boundary issues.
Here are 10 of film's best dark visions of the world.
10. The Running Man (1987, Dir: Paul Michael Glaser)
The huddled masses are in need of entertainment in this bleak world. And that entertainment comes in the form of game show ‘The Running Man’. Betting on themed ‘stalkers’ to find and eliminate contestants, it provides a much need release distraction for the people, run by a corrupt and malevolent government Until Arnold Schwarzenegger decides to play that it. When will people learn you never, ever push Arnie. Not even as a joke.
Blind Date 2025 was a decidedly bleak affair.
Random Quote: “Hello, this is Killian. Give me the Justice Department, Entertainment Division.”
9. The Matrix (1999, Dir: The Wachowski Brothers)
A future run by machines where humans are the power supply. The Matrix shows just what happens when we abuse and take technology for granted. The whole planet plugged into a giant virtual reality to keep us pacified and unaware of the real world makes for an interesting turn of events. We are now the nothing more than batteries. Which is pretty depressing when you think about it, although not nearly as depressing as when you discover the planet is almost completely destroyed and free humans are forced to hide underground. A grim future. Or possibly Luton on a Saturday night. I can never be too sure.
Rohypnol or Viagra? Either way ends in anal trauma.
Random Quote: “Unfortunately,
no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.”
8. V for Vendetta (2005, Dir: James McTeigue)
Focusing (for once) on a futuristic England, V for Vendetta presents an alternative reality where the country is run by a oppressive, fascist dictatorship. Anyone not conforming to the establishment are sent to concentration camps or made to ‘disappear’. Scary because it’s not so far removed from reality, which makes it all the more uncomfortable.
Even his hat wanted you dead.
Random Quote: “Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.
7. Idiocracy (2006, Dir: Mike Judge)
A man wakes up from cryogenic stasis 500 years in the future to discover not a destroyed or decimated world blighted by famine or war. But blighted by stupidity. Yes, in Idiocracy, a normal, everyday guy finds he is now the smartest man on the planet as everyone’s IQ is below 30. Global incompetence and utter anti-intellectualism abound here. Terrifying but also extremely amusing. Like Clowns.
The Vanilla Ice Memorial Concert was in full swing.
Random Quote: “Comin' up next on The Violence Channel: An all-new "Ow, My Balls!"
6. Escape From New York (1981, Dir: John Carpenter)
With the crime rate rising a massive 400% in the near future, America has no alternative but to find a way to cope with the increase in criminals. Of course, the first thing you do is erect a giant wall around New York and stick all the prisoners in there to fight for survival. Right? That makes sense. Throw Kurt Russell into the mix and you know shit is about to get real.
Pictured: Not giving one jot of a fuck.
Random Quote: “Y-You... You are the Duke of New York! You're A-Number One!”
5. Logan’s Run (1976, Dir: Michael Anderson)
Although seemingly a Utopian paradise, the world of Logan’s Run holds a terrifying truth. Once you reach 30
you have to go. And not to the bog. Instead, you're going to get flat out murderised, either by being ‘renewed’ (vaporised), or terminated by the
Sandmen, a group which chase those who won’t go quietly. A horrible thought to
hang over anyone’s head is knowing exactly
when their time is up.
Fleeing a despotic society doesn't have to mean bad hair. Oh wait. That's exactly what it means.
Random Quote: “Run! Runner.”
4. Mad Max 2 (1981, Dir: George Miller)
A world that focuses on one of the main reasons for why the world could turn to utter crud. Oil. When the world’s oil supply runs out, gasoline becomes a valued resource worth killing for. A blasted wasteland of death and terror, Mad Max 2 showcases the lengths that people will go to. Imagine a futuristic feature-long episode of 'Britain's Got Talent.' Only less depressing.
And better outfits.
Random Quote: “ For reasons long forgotten, two mighty warrior tribes went to war and touched off a blaze which engulfed them all.”
3. Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984, Dir: Michael Radford)
Although at the time considered a
future impossible to fathom, it’s distressing to see that the dystopian world
of 1984 holds elements that are present in real society today. The increasing
level of surveillance is a theme that, in this world of CCTV, can certainly be
related to. Being told what to think, what to see, what to do and how to act
makes this future very bleak indeed. Of course, the most tragic legacy of this
being that we now have a terrible TV reality show called ‘Big Brother’, named
Davina McCall had let herself go in the passing years.
Random Quote: “If you want a vision of the future Winston, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever.”
2. Blade Runner (1982, Dir: Ridley Scott)
A cult classic, Blade Runner’s future
landscape is visually impressive. Imposing spires of steel, glass and flame
litter the horizon. A neon nightmare drenched in perpetual rain, the city of
Los Angeles is a mixture of new technology and the decaying remnants of the old
world. With dark, cramped streets and
animals almost wiped out, there’s not much going for humanity here. It’s
probably best to invest in a few umbrellas too.
Trick question! Han Solo and Indiana Jones are just as cool as each other.
Random Quote: I’ve seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”
1. Brazil (1985, Dir: Terry Gilliam)
With Terry Gilliam as director, the a
bureaucratic nightmare of red tape and the eventual results of over industrialisation serve as a grounds for one man and his fight to be truly
free. The world of Brazil has degenerated into a place that functions (or rather doesn't) because of a reliance on machines that are overly complicated,
resulting in life altering mistakes and terrible consequences. And to think.
This was created by a member of Monty Python.
The Gay Zorro always fared badly at charades.
Random Quote: “Don't fight it son. Confess quickly! If you hold out too long you could jeopardize your credit rating.”
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